Will you ever know?

Today I found myself in discussion about new relationships and when to say “I love you” for the first time, to be honest this subject came up a couple of months ago as well but this time it ended up in a discussion : When should you say it?

I am aware that some people don’t give as much importance as they should to saying those three words, but I do…I do because for me, the little things matter. They matter so much that they’ll end up keeping me up at night and that isn’t good at all. So when? Some people say if you’re still wondering when, maybe you’re not ready to say it. Others say that you’ll just know when the right time comes…or that you should wait until the other person say it first.
In my honest opinion, just because you wonder it doesn’t mean you’re not ready or that you don’t feel it, people get scared all the time. Isn’t the fear of being rejected a good enough reason to make you wonder and hesitate? Also, the right time? Oh…I don’t know what to say to that, because I think we make it the right time. We decide when the right time is the right time, I’m probably not making much sense…but what if you keep constantly thinking it is the right time but something holds you back because once again, you’re afraid that the feeling isn’t mutual? Or that the other person does feel it but isn’t able to say it back? Before you know it the right moment is gone. Last but not least, ( these are, of course, 3 of the most popular opinions I’ve heard) waiting for your boyfriend or whatever to say it is just simply ridiculous, why should the other person say it first when for all that you know they’re waiting for you to say it? Someone has to go for it, someone has to break the ice and say what they really feel. So really, how are you supposed to know when and how to say it?

Now…would you say there should be a waiting time before you say it? I share the same opinion with those who think a week or two is way too early…what about 2 months?3 months? When is it too early?

I’d love to get a couple of replies to this & I do apologise for not posting anything for such a long time! <3

Lazy pants.

Tired or just simply…lazy? C’mon, give me a break.

When you realise you have two weeks of not having to show up in college my world became brighter than it has in a while. I thought to myself “You’re doing all of your work in the first week just so you can enjoy the last week.” the thing is that…one week is gone and I’ve done absolutely no work. I have a program to organise, a ‘Documentation’, 2 presentations, 1 assignment and one report to do. I did one report on Monday and that was about it.

I like my bed and I love staying up until 5am and sleep through the day. My sleeping pattern is slightly screwed up but nothing major. I realised that I’m falling in love with Ed Sheeran. Everyone knows I’m extremely attracted to ginger guys but then, he has that sweet voice and such adorable lyrics and they’re so catchy and, and….I just cannot go to bed without listening to him.

Oh! I forgot to mention, a couple of weeks ago I went to watch The Hunger Games and I must say…I loved it. It was lovely in general, the film and the company. However, I’m not the only one that says the fire wasn’t that realistic but I can live with that. I also found that there were minor details that were missing, such as her nails and the night glasses but then again I can live with it and I mean it when I say I loved it. Also, as I finished reading The Hunger Games I started the second book Catching Fire…so far, so good. I like it, it’s getting interesting I just need to be in the right mood and to find some more time to read a lil’ more.

I started playing Draw Something, it’s much more addictive than I ever thought it would. & so is Fruit Ninja and Jetpack. Yes, yes! My life is slowly being taken over by GAMES. Damn you, Apple Store!  Since I haven’t been doing much with my life, Sasha gave me a new nickname….Lazy Pants. The title is more than explained at this point.

Generally, I can honestly say that I’m happy. Things are slowly getting better and a smile only helps. I’m going to Hyde Park on Wednesday, if you see someone with red hair and a black & white bag it might be me. Now, I have to apologise, again. I don’t post as often as I should and I refuse to make promises that I will because I might not be able to.

Take care dear readers and happy Easter!  <3 

Take me to the place I love, take me all the way.

What’s better?
To be the one that wakes up one day and leaves or the one that is left to depress over memories?

When you think of it that way, it doesn’t seem very nice, does it? Well, it isn’t really. Leave and you’ll probably be hated but you’re happy. Stay and you’ll be left to depress over memories and eventually your life will start to work out and if it doesn’t, you’ll end up going back to feeling sorry for yourself.

Now that I know how it feels, being called a cunt is nothing compared to being on a train home and crying like there’s no tomorrow, having to wipe your tears and put a little smile on your face before facing anyone that knows you and act like everything’s just so good.

My life has been having ups and downs just like everyone else’s but I always end up a mess. I haven’t been this close to tears in a while and if I do cry, I might just end up hating myself for it. It’s not fair, is it now? The way one person can change your life is just…so ridiculous. I miss being cared for like the way he did, this is if he ever did or maybe it was just an act. Either way, I miss it and it hurts whenever I think that I’ll have to face him so soon and pretend that there was never a “we”. I’m not that tough. I shall let the ship sink and I’m going with it.

I apologise for not posting at all until now, it has been insane lately.

I can see the view below from the top.

A lot happens in a very short period of time. Yes, one day can change everything for a while. Sometimes, one hour can change the way you feel and act for the rest of the day or week. It depends really. I can honestly say that even the smallest things affect me, or even people. Seeing someone, hearing their voice OR their name…crazy right?

Sasha. Spending Friday with her was probably the highlight of the week. We are indeed crazy and if I had to go through every single thing we did you would end up thinking we should be in a mental hospital but we were having a great time, it’s always amazing spending a few hours with her.

CARE. Please go back to caring for me? I don’t want you to understand because you’re clearly not willing to, but please care. Care if I get hurt or if I’m happy. Stop making me feel like I’m a terrible person. It’s not fair, is it? Your feelings are the only thing that matter. There’s only so much a person can take. I miss the way things used to be, we were inseparable but I do not need your approval. I like doing things my way, so what if I make mistakes? If I like to go a little bit crazy once in a while? Maybe that’s just the way I want to be right now. I’m sick and tired of the whole judgemental shit that’s going through your mind, nobody is perfect. 

Half two. Record? Whatever this is…I like it and that’s all I’m saying for now.

Wednesday Night. Let the fun begin?Yes, yes! Let’s hope they don’t get me drunk. ( please do! )

Tomorrow is Monday. Another week of fun…not really. I just wish the weekend was longer or that Mondays didn’t exist. I cannot be bothered with college but I really should make an effort to do work.

Purple glasses. Fuck yeah, I look adorable okay?

Going for a bath and maybe get a good night of sleep. Take care everyone <3

Somebody that I used to know.

Ever look at someone and think ” what the hell happened to you? ” ?

It’s almost as if this complete different person decided to take over their bodies and lives. Why do people decide to act like idiots in order to get approval from others? Oh, that’s when people say that they’re showing who they really are and in my opinion that’s just bullshit.

Also, I’m angry at people that think they can get involved in others people’s lives as if they’re own it. Is your life really that boring that you have to get involved in mine? Yep, this ended up with me giving a certain person a call because that’s how angry I got, people NEED to think twice before talking, some things are just better left alone and this is one of them.

I just bought myself a new jacket, was about time…the one I have at the moment is way too girly and let’s be honest, it has never looked good on me and I want to be comfortable. It might look simple but that’s the way I like it besides, look at those pockets *might stop using my bag so often*!

Oh…I found out that I really don’t like being told “talk to you whenever” I mean, that really made me feel special. NOT.

It’s 00.04am and I’m feeling arty. I feel like I should have a wall of stuff because the board where I stick everything in doesn’t even look good anymore. Apparently I keep way too many stuff of my days out, but hey MEMORIES. But I really don’t want it to just be a wall of stuff, well I do…but I want it to be a bit…cute (those who know me in real life know that I want everything to be cute, or that I call everything I like cute) I have a million ideas but it’s late and I could really use some Cougar Town episodes - is it just me that every time I watch CT feels like drinking wine?

I’ve been trying to write this post the entire afternoon and kept thinking “man, that’s too much information”  ”that’s too much swearing” “oh don’t you just love making text italic?” & of course it doesn’t end there but hey this is probably the longest post I’ve written until now so, I shall stop typing. Now.

Night you all!<3

Good day.

One word : exhausted. I could just sleep until Saturday or Sunday even! I might be really tired, but I had an amazing day. It’s nice to have people that actually want to hang out with me and that can’t wait to see me again, it gives me hope you know? Things always get better, even if you thought it wouldn’t at some point in your life.

I think I’m too tired to go through the entire day with you guys today but the essential is that I’m doing fine. 

Tomorrow is A’s birthday, actually today is but let’s pretend it’s still Thursday because it’s not the next day until I sleep. I was the first to wish her a happy birthday by text, I always am. Old habits. We’re probably going to have an awesome day tomorrow, I can’t wait.

I’m getting sick, but it’s all good. Half term now, yay!

& I just can’t think of anything else, I’m going to get into my pajamas and watch Castle until I fall asleep. Good night everyone!

Sleepyhead.

Being awake until 6am every day of the week wasn’t such a good idea after all. All I can think about right now is sleeping, and I don’t feel well to be honest and the worst part is that tomorrow I’ll have college. Oh, it’s time to go back. This week went way too fast…but half term is coming soon.

Meeting Rob on Thursday I had to cancel today, since mummy was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get home because of the snow.  Inês is coming to London in the end of the month, this can only mean one thing : NIGHT OUT. Can’t wait, and I’ll do my best not to get wasted.

Listening to music, hoping to wake up a little Oh, right! I had the weirdest dream, David Fonseca and I were having lunch together and talking about music, if that actually happened I think I’d be really happy.

I don’t know what else to say, so guess I’ll just go now

Things are looking up again!

Well, I can finally say that things are going well again. I wouldn’t say that everything is perfect, but nothing ever is.
Oh! Sunday was pretty amazing I must say, I don’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun. I laughed, yelled, sang, acted like a complete child and realised that Sasha is one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I was able to relax, to be myself and go as crazy as I could. & I’m so glad that I met Rob, awesomeness.

Everyone seems happy lately, and that makes me feel even better. It’s funny how things change in a couple of weeks really.

Apparently it was snowing today, but I was too busy sleeping. I really should get some work done tomorrow, just so that this week isn’t wasted with tv shows and lots of sleeping.

I doubt anyone is going to answer this, but I’d love to get to know some of the people that visit my blog so…do you have a night/day that would like to put on repeat over and over again? If so, why and what is so special about that night/day?:)

Drama

I find it ridiculous when people try so hard to get attention, they make a big deal out of something and when people ask what’s going on they say “I don’t wanna talk about it.” my reaction to this : OH C’MON! *imagines slapping the person until it gets boring*

I do not understand, if you don’t want to talk about it don’t go on every freaking social website and announce that you’re going through a rough patch or this or that. It doesn’t make sense. If they really were going through a rough patch I’m positive that the last thing they would do is to brag about how  miserable their lives are or something, you just wouldn’t want to talk about it. That’s my personal opinion, but that might just be because I really don’t want people knowing if I’m not okay or not. It’s almost as if they just NEED people to worry about them, and in most cases it’s something like “my mum yelled at me”  or ” I’ll never have a boyfriend” ugh, GROW UP. If mummy yells at you, you get over it because I’m sure it wasn’t first time it happened, and it won’t be the last – there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t get yelled at but I’m still alive and I don’t think my life is miserable. & if you keep complaining that you’re never going to have a boyfriend all I have to say is : do something about it. If you want a boyfriend go out and meet new people instead of being on facebook all the time. Maybe you’ll find someone you like, maybe you won’t but at least you’ll have a great time and make new friends.

Well, that must be about it…just thought I’d share.

I finally have a life

The last couple of days has been the busiest since I can remember. Time flew by, went out with friends and had a blast, coursework is in progress leaving me with only 3 assignments left to finish and hand in by the 25th, my teachers think that I’m hardworking and I’ll be able to enjoy my week off. Uhm? Oh…yes, I did say they think I work really hard. Apparently the fact that I no longer have anyone that distracts me constantly during the college hours isn’t even that bad, I got more work done this week than since September and my phone’s battery lasts the whole day…How’s the new me sounding to all of you? Not bad, right? The only bad thing in the last few days was that I thought  I wouldn’t have time to think about certain events and people that I’ve been running away from but of course, it didn’t happen. It’s really frustrating when you want to get something out of your head and you can’t.

This weekend I’ll be doing a lot of coursework, and hopefully tidy up my room because it looks really messy. I won’t be going out, I spent so much money this week it’s unreal, but I guess that it was worth it. Hoping to get a haircut on Tuesday after college, maybe get it dyed properly and going to meet R. next weekend, pretty excited. What do you guys have planned for the new few days?

Before I forget, do you any of you have any specific topics that you’d like me to talk about? It would help me a lot, I really want to update this blog at least once a week with good stuff

Guess I’m done procrastinating, I’m going to get my room cleaned up and do my assignments until dinner is ready, so yeah…have a good weekend you all!