Just a normal day,

Good morning, everyone!

It has honestly been a while since I’ve been up before 11am without needing to shower, get dressed and go meet someone or do something. Somehow, today…I just woke up which is excellent since I’ll be starting college on Friday. – aah! So excited. Not really.

BBC is just RUDE. Telling me how I was unsuccessful and did not win the tickets to see The Killers live. Neither did my sister, her friend or the other friend. I’m very unlucky in this situations but I was feeling lucky yesterday and then, BBC 3 just crushed me…not everything is lost though! I’m expecting an email from iTunes anytime now, telling me how I won tickets to either see The Killers, Jessie J or Muse live ( PLEASE, LET IT BE MUSE! ), would be nice… I’d love it if I could actually win something, just for once.

I’m still in bed but should get up soon…I suppose the sooner I go to White City and get the t-shirt in a smaller size the sooner I come home. Also, tomorrow I must buy some wrapping paper. It’s Rob’s birthday! I love the way his birthday is 4 days after mine. Since I won’t be seeing him tomorrow because college…at least I get to spend Saturday with him! & I did not just get him ANY t-shirt. Hope he likes it anyway.

I’m getting hungry as well, so I shall get up, quick shower, make breakfast and go out! Hoping to have a webcam session all afternoon with Robbie. 🙂

Hope all of you have a good day!

Eighteen years old,

The last two days were great, incredible I dare to say. I’m eighteen, ( & with it comes more responsibility, according to my sister ). Either way, I had a great birthday. Rob is definitely the best boyfriend ever, I’ve never felt so special in my entire life. I adore the way he makes me feel, the way my heart speeds up whenever we’re together or how he just knows all the lil’ things about me ( such as the fact that I have two smiles, I never knew that! ). I got the cutest teddy bear ever (Omg,I can’t help but notice how much girlier I am now compared to last year ). I’ll be getting a new watch and an iPod – Or an iPad but…I’ll give you the cons and pros in a minute.  – since mine’s broken on Sunday with the money I got for my birthday! What else….hum, I had two cakes this year. Daddy bought me a cake, with a barbie inside ( NO JOKE, IT ACTUALLY HAD A BARBIE IN THE MIDDLE, I WAS IN SHOCK. )…c’mon, at least he tried. Overall, it was the best birthday I’ve had in the last 4 years. Although, I still wished I had a party…but then again, it was better this way.

Right, pros and cons until the time I walked in the Apple Store :

– iPad’s are huge compared to an iPod,

–  I would however, probably be able to do some college work on an iPad,

–  I doubt I’d give much use to an iPad,

– iPad’s are more expensive,

– I’d constantly be worried about someone stealing the iPad,

– The iPod isn’t that expensive, it’s smaller therefore I could just put it in my pocket and go with it.

Pros and cons after walking out :

– iPad’s are so nice,

– I touched one and it felt so right,

– I’m still scared of carrying it around and it being stolen,

– I wouldn’t be able to put it in my pocket which means I’ll end up taking my bag with me everywhere,

– I saw this guy on the train with an iPad and he looked just sexy and I want it, okay.

– They’re expensive and I don’t wanna spend all of my birthday money.

What should I do?

Blow me one last kiss,

Hey guys!

I realise it has been a couple of months since the last time I came here to even check everyone else’s blog & I’m sorry for that. My life has been a mixture of everything, including laziness. I hope everyone is doing well. This Summer has gone far too fast for my liking, not looking forward to going back to college but that’s okay. It’ll happen eventually.

Can you believe that in about 2 weeks I’m going to be 18?! I’m way too excited about this. First thing I’m doing : getting my bellybutton pierced. Yes, yes, yes! *jumps*

It’s amazing to see how close R and I are now. We’ve been together for almost 6 months. It’s nice to have him around, to cuddle up to him whenever we’re together, to laugh, kiss and everything else. I couldn’t be happier. He incredible and never fails to take my breath away.

Everyone’s been clearly happier around the house as well, I honestly think that I made this happen somehow. Let’s be honest, in the last 3 years I haven’t been a very good ‘child’. I’ve been terrible, maybe because I wasn’t able to accept all the changes, because I want to blame someone, so I blamed those around me and that wasn’t fair, especially when the only thing they did was to look out for me.

It’s late, so I’m going to sleep and tomorrow I’ll have a read through some blogs. 🙂

Goodnight, my sweet little things.

Riding a bike ( PART I )

Last weekend, I attempted to ride a bicycle. Yes, I’m 17 and I have absolutely no idea how to ride a bike or swim. It’s rather embarrassing when people ask you to join them and you just can’t. To begin with, I was pretty confident until I saw the bike next to me. That was when I decided to act like a 5 year old girl “I don’t wanna do this!”, “I never asked you to teach me!”, “Everyone is looking at me, it’s embarrassing.” and the list continues for about half an hour. Until I get told ” Since when do YOU care what people think?” I couldn’t answer back, that’s for sure. I don’t, I really couldn’t care less of what people think or say about me.

I finally tried it, I yelled a little bit, I cried, I hurt myself but sometimes I managed to ride it for a couple of seconds which left me quite happy. After 3 hours of trying, I decided to give up. It’s harder than it looks, and it’s scary too. I got invited to go to Hyde Park today, again and attempt to ride it again. After all, I almost had it last weekend…however, my first reaction to this was “I have coursework to do!” I didn’t even hesitate. In a couple of weeks, I might try it again…or ask my lovely boyfriend to come along and help! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind and it could actually work considering he’s taller and stronger and I’d feel much safer. 🙂 Will definitely keep you guys posted!

I hope everyone has been doing fine! & if not, hope it gets better 🙂

Will you ever know?

Today I found myself in discussion about new relationships and when to say “I love you” for the first time, to be honest this subject came up a couple of months ago as well but this time it ended up in a discussion : When should you say it?

I am aware that some people don’t give as much importance as they should to saying those three words, but I do…I do because for me, the little things matter. They matter so much that they’ll end up keeping me up at night and that isn’t good at all. So when? Some people say if you’re still wondering when, maybe you’re not ready to say it. Others say that you’ll just know when the right time comes…or that you should wait until the other person say it first.
In my honest opinion, just because you wonder it doesn’t mean you’re not ready or that you don’t feel it, people get scared all the time. Isn’t the fear of being rejected a good enough reason to make you wonder and hesitate? Also, the right time? Oh…I don’t know what to say to that, because I think we make it the right time. We decide when the right time is the right time, I’m probably not making much sense…but what if you keep constantly thinking it is the right time but something holds you back because once again, you’re afraid that the feeling isn’t mutual? Or that the other person does feel it but isn’t able to say it back? Before you know it the right moment is gone. Last but not least, ( these are, of course, 3 of the most popular opinions I’ve heard) waiting for your boyfriend or whatever to say it is just simply ridiculous, why should the other person say it first when for all that you know they’re waiting for you to say it? Someone has to go for it, someone has to break the ice and say what they really feel. So really, how are you supposed to know when and how to say it?

Now…would you say there should be a waiting time before you say it? I share the same opinion with those who think a week or two is way too early…what about 2 months?3 months? When is it too early?

I’d love to get a couple of replies to this & I do apologise for not posting anything for such a long time! ❤

Lazy pants.

Tired or just simply…lazy? C’mon, give me a break.

When you realise you have two weeks of not having to show up in college my world became brighter than it has in a while. I thought to myself “You’re doing all of your work in the first week just so you can enjoy the last week.” the thing is that…one week is gone and I’ve done absolutely no work. I have a program to organise, a ‘Documentation’, 2 presentations, 1 assignment and one report to do. I did one report on Monday and that was about it.

I like my bed and I love staying up until 5am and sleep through the day. My sleeping pattern is slightly screwed up but nothing major. I realised that I’m falling in love with Ed Sheeran. Everyone knows I’m extremely attracted to ginger guys but then, he has that sweet voice and such adorable lyrics and they’re so catchy and, and….I just cannot go to bed without listening to him.

Oh! I forgot to mention, a couple of weeks ago I went to watch The Hunger Games and I must say…I loved it. It was lovely in general, the film and the company. However, I’m not the only one that says the fire wasn’t that realistic but I can live with that. I also found that there were minor details that were missing, such as her nails and the night glasses but then again I can live with it and I mean it when I say I loved it. Also, as I finished reading The Hunger Games I started the second book Catching Fire…so far, so good. I like it, it’s getting interesting I just need to be in the right mood and to find some more time to read a lil’ more.

I started playing Draw Something, it’s much more addictive than I ever thought it would. & so is Fruit Ninja and Jetpack. Yes, yes! My life is slowly being taken over by GAMES. Damn you, Apple Store!  Since I haven’t been doing much with my life, Sasha gave me a new nickname….Lazy Pants. The title is more than explained at this point.

Generally, I can honestly say that I’m happy. Things are slowly getting better and a smile only helps. I’m going to Hyde Park on Wednesday, if you see someone with red hair and a black & white bag it might be me. Now, I have to apologise, again. I don’t post as often as I should and I refuse to make promises that I will because I might not be able to.

Take care dear readers and happy Easter!  ❤ 

Take me to the place I love, take me all the way.

What’s better?
To be the one that wakes up one day and leaves or the one that is left to depress over memories?

When you think of it that way, it doesn’t seem very nice, does it? Well, it isn’t really. Leave and you’ll probably be hated but you’re happy. Stay and you’ll be left to depress over memories and eventually your life will start to work out and if it doesn’t, you’ll end up going back to feeling sorry for yourself.

Now that I know how it feels, being called a cunt is nothing compared to being on a train home and crying like there’s no tomorrow, having to wipe your tears and put a little smile on your face before facing anyone that knows you and act like everything’s just so good.

My life has been having ups and downs just like everyone else’s but I always end up a mess. I haven’t been this close to tears in a while and if I do cry, I might just end up hating myself for it. It’s not fair, is it now? The way one person can change your life is just…so ridiculous. I miss being cared for like the way he did, this is if he ever did or maybe it was just an act. Either way, I miss it and it hurts whenever I think that I’ll have to face him so soon and pretend that there was never a “we”. I’m not that tough. I shall let the ship sink and I’m going with it.

I apologise for not posting at all until now, it has been insane lately.

I can see the view below from the top.

A lot happens in a very short period of time. Yes, one day can change everything for a while. Sometimes, one hour can change the way you feel and act for the rest of the day or week. It depends really. I can honestly say that even the smallest things affect me, or even people. Seeing someone, hearing their voice OR their name…crazy right?

Sasha. Spending Friday with her was probably the highlight of the week. We are indeed crazy and if I had to go through every single thing we did you would end up thinking we should be in a mental hospital but we were having a great time, it’s always amazing spending a few hours with her.

CARE. Please go back to caring for me? I don’t want you to understand because you’re clearly not willing to, but please care. Care if I get hurt or if I’m happy. Stop making me feel like I’m a terrible person. It’s not fair, is it? Your feelings are the only thing that matter. There’s only so much a person can take. I miss the way things used to be, we were inseparable but I do not need your approval. I like doing things my way, so what if I make mistakes? If I like to go a little bit crazy once in a while? Maybe that’s just the way I want to be right now. I’m sick and tired of the whole judgemental shit that’s going through your mind, nobody is perfect. 

Half two. Record? Whatever this is…I like it and that’s all I’m saying for now.

Wednesday Night. Let the fun begin?Yes, yes! Let’s hope they don’t get me drunk. ( please do! )

Tomorrow is Monday. Another week of fun…not really. I just wish the weekend was longer or that Mondays didn’t exist. I cannot be bothered with college but I really should make an effort to do work.

Purple glasses. Fuck yeah, I look adorable okay?

Going for a bath and maybe get a good night of sleep. Take care everyone ❤

Somebody that I used to know.

Ever look at someone and think ” what the hell happened to you? ” ?

It’s almost as if this complete different person decided to take over their bodies and lives. Why do people decide to act like idiots in order to get approval from others? Oh, that’s when people say that they’re showing who they really are and in my opinion that’s just bullshit.

Also, I’m angry at people that think they can get involved in others people’s lives as if they’re own it. Is your life really that boring that you have to get involved in mine? Yep, this ended up with me giving a certain person a call because that’s how angry I got, people NEED to think twice before talking, some things are just better left alone and this is one of them.

I just bought myself a new jacket, was about time…the one I have at the moment is way too girly and let’s be honest, it has never looked good on me and I want to be comfortable. It might look simple but that’s the way I like it besides, look at those pockets *might stop using my bag so often*!

Oh…I found out that I really don’t like being told “talk to you whenever” I mean, that really made me feel special. NOT.

It’s 00.04am and I’m feeling arty. I feel like I should have a wall of stuff because the board where I stick everything in doesn’t even look good anymore. Apparently I keep way too many stuff of my days out, but hey MEMORIES. But I really don’t want it to just be a wall of stuff, well I do…but I want it to be a bit…cute (those who know me in real life know that I want everything to be cute, or that I call everything I like cute) I have a million ideas but it’s late and I could really use some Cougar Town episodes – is it just me that every time I watch CT feels like drinking wine?

I’ve been trying to write this post the entire afternoon and kept thinking “man, that’s too much information”  “that’s too much swearing” “oh don’t you just love making text italic?” & of course it doesn’t end there but hey this is probably the longest post I’ve written until now so, I shall stop typing. Now.

Night you all!<3

Good day.

One word : exhausted. I could just sleep until Saturday or Sunday even! I might be really tired, but I had an amazing day. It’s nice to have people that actually want to hang out with me and that can’t wait to see me again, it gives me hope you know? Things always get better, even if you thought it wouldn’t at some point in your life.

I think I’m too tired to go through the entire day with you guys today but the essential is that I’m doing fine. 

Tomorrow is A’s birthday, actually today is but let’s pretend it’s still Thursday because it’s not the next day until I sleep. I was the first to wish her a happy birthday by text, I always am. Old habits. We’re probably going to have an awesome day tomorrow, I can’t wait.

I’m getting sick, but it’s all good. Half term now, yay!

& I just can’t think of anything else, I’m going to get into my pajamas and watch Castle until I fall asleep. Good night everyone!